A Mother of Sons

I've been thinking a lot lately about being the mother of two sons. I'm sure it will be many years before they learn to play together - and do it nicely (and they WILL learn) - but I'm excited and hopeful that Carson and his little brother will have built-in/resident friends. Sure there'll be other friends, but I hope they encourage and inspire one another, help one another be good, and help each other live up to their potential.

When we first found out we were having a second boy, Mark and I were both a little bit disappointed. We'd planned on a girl for the whole pregnancy last time & delivered a boy, so we thought maybe this time we'd get our girl. I don't want to make this a big deal because it REALLY wasn't. We'd waited quite some time for a baby & the fact that HE was healthy & here was amazing. I can't even begin to think of our life without Carson (and soon-to-be baby brother - or sister if that's how it turns out for some reason!) and wouldn't trade any of it for one second! Anyway, a little while after we found out this baby was a boy, I had kind of a sweet experience. Usually I'm not one to share things that are too personal, but it's part of my testimony that Heavenly Father knows us and is completely aware of our lives and feelings, and He blesses us with tender mercies. I was at the front door - probably taking a dirty diaper outside - and the thought/feeling (ask me about that conundrum sometime: I think in feelings rather than in words a lot of the time, so it's really hard to verbalize what's in my head......frustrating!!) came to me, "You're having sons because you can teach them to be good and worthy dads and priesthood holders." This surprised me because I was over the fact that we were having another boy, and I hadn't even thought twice about it for a while. I told Mark about this later & we both were kinda silent - I don't know what he was thinking, but I was thinking, "Wow, that's a big responsibility! Am I qualified?"

By coincidence or not, I've been reading lately in the beginning of 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. Lehi is about to pass away & he calls his family around him to teach them and bless them. He testifies of the Savior, teaches doctrine, and counsels them to be righteous so that the Lord can bless them. These few verses really struck me as something that all parents want for their children, & Lehi was in-tune and eloquent (& fortunate) enough to say them and have them recorded in scripture: "And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit; And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom. I have spoken these few words unto you all, my sons, in the last days of my probation; and I have chosen the good part, according to the words of the prophet. And I have none other object save it be the everlasting welfare of your souls. Amen." (2 Nephi 2:28-30) That's exactly how I feel!! Now listen to this. This is Lehi speaking to his youngest son (the time frame here is kind of vague, but he could have been as little as 2 years old!): "And now, blessed art thou, Joseph. Behold, thou art little; wherefore hearken unto the words of thy brother, Nephi, and it shall be done unto thee even according to the words which I have spoken." (2 Nephi 3:25) Behold, thou art little; hearken unto the words of thy brother!!!! I hope and pray that our family can be like Lehi's (obviously the good part, not the Laman & Lemuel part! But that could happen too, at which point, I hope I can be as steadfast & caring as Lehi).

I know I can't - and thank goodness, don't have to - do it all on my own. My sons will have a great Dad, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Church leaders, and friends that will influence them for good. But I know I play a big role in these boys' development & progression. The First Presidency message in the Ensign this month is by President Uchtdorf (love him!) you can read it HERE. It's "The Influence of Righteous Women" & it's excellent! In it he quotes President Heber J. Grant as saying, "Without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers, this Church would die." He also quotes President Gordon B. Hinckley, "It is so tremendously important that the women of the Church stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord...We call upon the women of the Church to stand together for righteousness. They must begin in their own homes." WOWZA!! This is a big deal! But I can't think of anything that I'd rather spend my time doing or devote my faculties and resources to than to raise a righteous family. I have a lot to learn and a lot of patience to gain, and I need a lot of Divine help, but I love being a mom - a mom with the purpose of teaching my family the gospel (which in turn will help them be educated, enlightened, kind, independent, steadfast, and all-round good people, of course).

So this post is definitely long enough - and no pictures to boot! But this is what's been on my mind lately. It's a novel & probably belongs in my journal, but I can type & edit much better on here than I can print in a book. And maybe one of you will be inspired to "be a little better and try a little harder" as this experience and these scriptures have helped me - mind you I need a reminder pretty much everyday!